Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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