if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you will always have a special place in my vag
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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