she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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