Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
