On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Small penises have feelings too.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
