you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
should my penis look like a turkey
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
