I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
