i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
