tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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