You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
