you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
