I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
