At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
