i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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