I just cut my nipple shaving
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
