He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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