Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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