let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
