Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
