the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
