Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
