doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
