I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
