This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
