I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
