grandma shit on top of the toilet
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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