Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
