dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
