She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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