are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
