Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
