did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
