8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
