She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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