You can't special order awesome
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
