Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
