She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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