We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
