He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
