I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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