I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
