I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We left the knife in your bed.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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