I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
