You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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