why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
