You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
