I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
