Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
