He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
