why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
how does that bad decision feel?
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