I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
