sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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